The Horror: My Retinas!
Ladies, did you go on a well-intentioned but disastrous blind date with your best friend's brother's roommate? Does he mistake your non-returned calls for you "just being busy"? Is he sending unwanted flowers? You should go out with him again and wear this neon, sequin, leopard dress from Ashish. (And it's one-shouldered too, because there weren't enough trends on it already.) If rendering him blind doesn't get him to back off, tell him you spent nearly $900 on this monstrosity. He should run away screaming that you're insane.