Net-a-Porter is full of wonderful things I will never have -- dresses by Jonathan Saunders, pumps by Christian Louboutin, bags by Fendi -- so I like to occasionally remind myself that while I lack that retailer's required cash, I don't lack taste.
Behold, silver lamé track pants by Michael Kors. Were these just plain pants in a crazy silver fabric, they would make a great gown alternative. With those elasticized ankles, however, they are for the richest of couch potatoes ringing up at $1,995.
But it gets even shinier, pricier and uglier. The strapless, sequin, drop-crotch jumpsuit is by Yves Saint Laurent and costs $4,350. Gee, I wonder how I'll cover tax and shipping.